March 2010 Archives
Over the weekend I went on my very first trip ever to Germany. My friend Wendi who I used to work with in Texas was there on her maternity leave with her German husband and half German baby, so I flew down for a visit. Here's what we did and saw...
Kölner Dom, aka the Cologne Cathedral
The Dom is the most distinctive (and most touristy) site in Köln. It kinda reminded me of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. My favorite part of the Dom was how Wendi's husband and friend were deadset on convincing us that on Sunday mornings, they clear all the pews out of the cathedral, open the huge doors, and allow people to drive in for "car church".
Praetorium, aka the Roman/Romanian Underground
Next we visited a very unassuming place called the Praetorium. It looked like we were just going to some office building, but when we snuck down some stairs we found ourselves in a basement full of Roman ruins. This place was quite confusing, because all the dates on the placards noted the date they were found, not the date they were built. Oh, and all the placards were only in German. And also, our tour guide kept calling the "Romans" the "Romanians". Despite the confusion, we were fortunate enough to be there on one of the days when the sewage canal was open, score!
Schokoladen Museum, aka the Chocolate Museum
This lady was not happy about having to wait around for these chocolates to get pooped out so she could box them up, all while having dozens of tourists stare at her. The Chocolate Museum wasn't quite like the Wonka Chocolate Factory, but it was pretty neat to see all the chocolate equipment and then eat the chocolate. There were chocolate Easter bunnies, chocolate Santas, chocolate popes, chocolate donkeys, and chocolate elephants.
Pub Crawl, aka Many Tiny Beers
Drinking in Germany is serious business. We went to an awesome old traditional bar called Päffgen, where I was quickly oriented to the German way of drinking. First of all, by even entering the bar it is implying consent that you want a beer, I don't think we ever even ordered. They bring beer in tiny little glasses, and then mark on a coaster with a black crayon with the number of beers they gave you. Then once there is less than an inch of beer left in your glass, they bring you more. WITHOUT ASKING. REPEATEDLY. And that Kölsch beer is very very very easy to drink.
The other great part of Päffgen was the mystery painting on the wall. It was ridiculously dark, so it was impossible to see what the subject was. It's Juan Valdez and a donkey! It's a flying wheelchair! It's a runaway barrel from Donkey Kong!
German House Party, aka
On Saturday night, we were invited to a friend's house outside of Köln for dinner and drinks. Notable quotable quotes from the evening:
Dusche, aka Douche
Prior to moving to Europe, the word "douche" was one of the most frequently used words in my day-to-day speech. When I moved here, I got worried that people wouldn't know its literal or figurative meaning, and I really didn't want to find myself in the situation where I had to define "douche." So I had pretty much purged it from my vocabulary.
Until last weekend.
You see, the German word for "shower" is "dusche". And when Wendi arrived from their transatlantic trip and was tired, her father-in-law suggested: "Why don't you take a dusche and have a nap?" Hahaha! That story awakened all my douche synapses and got me saying it again.
Add that to the fact that Wendi and her husband use the word "douche" even more than I ever did. Wendi's husband often goes around absentmindedly singing the Elton John "That's Why They Call It the Blues" song as: "And that's why they call you...the douche."
It's safe to say that "douche" is firmly back in my vocabulary...and I plan to expand its usage to include "shower".
Kölner Dom, aka the Cologne Cathedral
The Dom is the most distinctive (and most touristy) site in Köln. It kinda reminded me of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. My favorite part of the Dom was how Wendi's husband and friend were deadset on convincing us that on Sunday mornings, they clear all the pews out of the cathedral, open the huge doors, and allow people to drive in for "car church".
Praetorium, aka the Roman/Romanian Underground
Next we visited a very unassuming place called the Praetorium. It looked like we were just going to some office building, but when we snuck down some stairs we found ourselves in a basement full of Roman ruins. This place was quite confusing, because all the dates on the placards noted the date they were found, not the date they were built. Oh, and all the placards were only in German. And also, our tour guide kept calling the "Romans" the "Romanians". Despite the confusion, we were fortunate enough to be there on one of the days when the sewage canal was open, score!
Schokoladen Museum, aka the Chocolate Museum
This lady was not happy about having to wait around for these chocolates to get pooped out so she could box them up, all while having dozens of tourists stare at her. The Chocolate Museum wasn't quite like the Wonka Chocolate Factory, but it was pretty neat to see all the chocolate equipment and then eat the chocolate. There were chocolate Easter bunnies, chocolate Santas, chocolate popes, chocolate donkeys, and chocolate elephants.
Pub Crawl, aka Many Tiny Beers
Drinking in Germany is serious business. We went to an awesome old traditional bar called Päffgen, where I was quickly oriented to the German way of drinking. First of all, by even entering the bar it is implying consent that you want a beer, I don't think we ever even ordered. They bring beer in tiny little glasses, and then mark on a coaster with a black crayon with the number of beers they gave you. Then once there is less than an inch of beer left in your glass, they bring you more. WITHOUT ASKING. REPEATEDLY. And that Kölsch beer is very very very easy to drink.
The other great part of Päffgen was the mystery painting on the wall. It was ridiculously dark, so it was impossible to see what the subject was. It's Juan Valdez and a donkey! It's a flying wheelchair! It's a runaway barrel from Donkey Kong!
German House Party, aka
On Saturday night, we were invited to a friend's house outside of Köln for dinner and drinks. Notable quotable quotes from the evening:
- "You have a URINAL in your HOUSE?"
- "Are you lying to me? Is 'urinal' really 'pissoir' in German?"
- "When you watched the Smurfs when you were little, you supported Hitler.""
- "Do you have the word 'spray sausage' in English?"
- "Is everyone happy with the music or do you want to hear Robbie Williams?"
Dusche, aka Douche
Prior to moving to Europe, the word "douche" was one of the most frequently used words in my day-to-day speech. When I moved here, I got worried that people wouldn't know its literal or figurative meaning, and I really didn't want to find myself in the situation where I had to define "douche." So I had pretty much purged it from my vocabulary.
Until last weekend.
You see, the German word for "shower" is "dusche". And when Wendi arrived from their transatlantic trip and was tired, her father-in-law suggested: "Why don't you take a dusche and have a nap?" Hahaha! That story awakened all my douche synapses and got me saying it again.
Add that to the fact that Wendi and her husband use the word "douche" even more than I ever did. Wendi's husband often goes around absentmindedly singing the Elton John "That's Why They Call It the Blues" song as: "And that's why they call you...the douche."
It's safe to say that "douche" is firmly back in my vocabulary...and I plan to expand its usage to include "shower".
I have been taking Finnish lessons for 3 months now. And although I have a vocabulary of maybe a few hundred Finnish words, when it comes time to assemble them into sentences my brain fully locks up. I'm also incapable of listening and understanding what is being said. .
For example, today in class the teacher was introducing us to the words for professions. And when she told us the word for hairdresser, she decided to illustrate with a little personal story. She told the entire story in Finnish (but very slowly and used lots of pantomime). I thought I was following along okay. I certainly didn't get all of what she was saying, but I felt I got the general idea, which I thought was:
Earlier today, I was testing my Finnish chops over IM with my friend. That, too, was a disaster:
So in conclusion, I tried to say three of the super easiest sentences in Finnish history (noted in bold), and I didn't get one single one correct! Will this ever click? Brain...come on! I need you!
For example, today in class the teacher was introducing us to the words for professions. And when she told us the word for hairdresser, she decided to illustrate with a little personal story. She told the entire story in Finnish (but very slowly and used lots of pantomime). I thought I was following along okay. I certainly didn't get all of what she was saying, but I felt I got the general idea, which I thought was:
Her hairdresser has a little 7 year old girl who hangs out in the salon. And when my teacher goes in for her hair appointments, the little girl wants to play house. The little girl plays the mother, the hairdresser plays the father, and my teacher plays the daughter. Then while the hairdresser is doing my teacher's hair, my teacher brushes the little girl's hair.After she finished the story, she asked us how much we understood, and then summarized the story in English, which was:
She has been friends with her hairdresser since she was seven years old. They used to play house, and he would always want to brush her hair.Sigh... Not even CLOSE. I managed to introduce a whole character into the story who wasn't even there!
Earlier today, I was testing my Finnish chops over IM with my friend. That, too, was a disaster:
sakke: yo haleemeister
halee: tervehdys, herr sakke
sakke: :)
sakke: excellent! (just add an "a" to the end of herr)
halee: so you mean, "excellent...but wrong"
halee: suomea on vaikeaaaaaaaaaaaa
sakke: awesome! (but it's "suomi" sorry...:)
halee: i quit.
sakke: you're doing well!
sakke: i understood everything isn't that what counts?
halee: really? i thought "suomi" was the country and "suomea" was the language?
halee: no?
sakke: no
sakke: suomi is the language as well
sakke: "minä opiskelen suomea" so the "suomi" just changes a bit because it becomes the object of the sentence or something
halee: ahhhh.
sakke: it's the same like "minä katson televisiota" even though the word is televisio
halee: gotcha.
halee: i mean, "minä ymmärrä"
sakke: you forgot the "n" at the end of "ymmärrä" :)
halee: N!
So in conclusion, I tried to say three of the super easiest sentences in Finnish history (noted in bold), and I didn't get one single one correct! Will this ever click? Brain...come on! I need you!
A couple of weeks ago, a male colleague of mine gave me a second-hand verbal meeting request for the morning of March 8 (today). This annoyed me. For several reasons:
So this morning I went to the agency office for this alleged "meeting." Over the past year, vague mandatory meetings have come to mean "someone is getting fired," so I was pretty uneasy. I patiently and confusedly and worriedly sat through their weekly status discussion. Then when the meeting was wrapping up (and no one was fired), Samuel the meeting leader announced that all the ladies needed to get out of the conference room, and go gather by the desks.
I continued to be confused. And scared. All the other girls stood around grinning like they knew what was up, and I was panicking. I hate not knowing what's going on.
Then suddenly...all the Wunderboys emerged from the conference room bearing roses!? And chocolates!? And each boy handed a rose to one predetermined girl, along with a quick hug and/or kiss!?
Then suddenly...a guitar appeared? And then all the boys stood and serenaded us???
And one guy used a beer can filled with rocks AS A MARACA??!!??
As it turns out, all the secrecy and trickery was because today is International Women's Day and all the Wunderboys were being particularly sweet and sensitive and European and adorable about it:
And they totally made my day/week/month/quarter.
And I won't ruin this nice story with what they told me was expected from women on "International Men's Day."
- This particular colleague generally tries my patience. He tends to boss me around all the time, and him ordering me to attend a meeting (especially with no details on why my attendance was mandatory) made me want to ditch on principle.
- I had other shit to do and didn't really have time to spend my whole morning on a status meeting that had nothing to do with me.
- That is disorganized. Don't tell me about a meeting and expect me to remember/show up! Forward me the official Outlook scheduler request from the original meeting organizer, jackass. Otherwise if details of the meeting change, I won't know.
So this morning I went to the agency office for this alleged "meeting." Over the past year, vague mandatory meetings have come to mean "someone is getting fired," so I was pretty uneasy. I patiently and confusedly and worriedly sat through their weekly status discussion. Then when the meeting was wrapping up (and no one was fired), Samuel the meeting leader announced that all the ladies needed to get out of the conference room, and go gather by the desks.
I continued to be confused. And scared. All the other girls stood around grinning like they knew what was up, and I was panicking. I hate not knowing what's going on.
Then suddenly...all the Wunderboys emerged from the conference room bearing roses!? And chocolates!? And each boy handed a rose to one predetermined girl, along with a quick hug and/or kiss!?
Then suddenly...a guitar appeared? And then all the boys stood and serenaded us???
And one guy used a beer can filled with rocks AS A MARACA??!!??
As it turns out, all the secrecy and trickery was because today is International Women's Day and all the Wunderboys were being particularly sweet and sensitive and European and adorable about it:
"Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, primarily Eastern Europe, Russia, and the former Soviet block. In many regions, the day lost its political flavor, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother's Day and St Valentine's Day.
And they totally made my day/week/month/quarter.
And I won't ruin this nice story with what they told me was expected from women on "International Men's Day."
