Russian Eurotrash Fashion Show
Yesterday I was quietly sitting in a little Russian cafe in Kallio with my friends, eating pelminis. It was obvious the place was pretty authentic, but I didn't know just how authentic it was until HE walked in.
I wish I had been able to take a photo of HIM to better explain what I need to describe here, but the place was authentic enough and I've seen "Eastern Promises" enough times that I didn't dare. What if some guys from the Bratva were in the back, sharpening knives or tattoo needles? No. I had to take a series of mental snapshots of every article of HIS dress, and I will try to recreate them here in the order I noticed them.
The Jeans
You know the real douchey designer jeans with way too much detail on the back pockets? Kind of like these, if they were bleached and acid-washed until they were a pale, pale blue / almost white? And possibly had some glitter on them? HE was wearing those.
The Shoes
Let me put it this way: I couldn't find an image of snakeskin loafers that were pointy enough, this was the closest I could find. And later when HE sat down it surprised me that HE was wearing common white tube socks.
The Jacket
HIS jacket was actually somewhat understated, comparatively. Just a simple little white jackety vest. Although it was sleeveless. And unlike in the picture above, HE did not have a sleeved shirt on under it.
The Tattoos
Ahh, there was a very good reason for the sleevelessness. HE had several wolf tattoos to display. There was one on each upper arm, both black one-color jobs that looked all melty and faded. The left arm had a wolf howling at the moon, looking away towards the moon. The right arm had a wolf staring directly at you with the moon behind it...but upon closer examination the moon was actually just the huge eye of another wolf.
And just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any better, he took off the jackety vest to reveal...
The Undershirt
Yes. A white sheer tshirt to display even MORE tattoos. I wish I could describe the other tattoos to you, but it was at this point that I had to turn away and quit looking at him. Up to that point I was able to just casually and quietly enjoy his outfit...but when I saw the mesh shirt I almost choked on my pelmini.
Part 2 of this tale involves a Russian girl wearing sheer black control top pantyhose as pants, but that's a story for another time...
I wish I had been able to take a photo of HIM to better explain what I need to describe here, but the place was authentic enough and I've seen "Eastern Promises" enough times that I didn't dare. What if some guys from the Bratva were in the back, sharpening knives or tattoo needles? No. I had to take a series of mental snapshots of every article of HIS dress, and I will try to recreate them here in the order I noticed them.
The Jeans
You know the real douchey designer jeans with way too much detail on the back pockets? Kind of like these, if they were bleached and acid-washed until they were a pale, pale blue / almost white? And possibly had some glitter on them? HE was wearing those.
The Shoes
Let me put it this way: I couldn't find an image of snakeskin loafers that were pointy enough, this was the closest I could find. And later when HE sat down it surprised me that HE was wearing common white tube socks.
The Jacket
HIS jacket was actually somewhat understated, comparatively. Just a simple little white jackety vest. Although it was sleeveless. And unlike in the picture above, HE did not have a sleeved shirt on under it.
The Tattoos
Ahh, there was a very good reason for the sleevelessness. HE had several wolf tattoos to display. There was one on each upper arm, both black one-color jobs that looked all melty and faded. The left arm had a wolf howling at the moon, looking away towards the moon. The right arm had a wolf staring directly at you with the moon behind it...but upon closer examination the moon was actually just the huge eye of another wolf.
And just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any better, he took off the jackety vest to reveal...
The Undershirt
Yes. A white sheer tshirt to display even MORE tattoos. I wish I could describe the other tattoos to you, but it was at this point that I had to turn away and quit looking at him. Up to that point I was able to just casually and quietly enjoy his outfit...but when I saw the mesh shirt I almost choked on my pelmini.
Part 2 of this tale involves a Russian girl wearing sheer black control top pantyhose as pants, but that's a story for another time...
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