I Went to See Guns N' Roses and All I Got Was This Lousy Condom
Editor's note: the events described here actually happened June 5, 2010.
I am a card-carrying Guns N' Roses fan. Literally:
But sadly for me, I was just a teenager in G'n'R's heyday, so I was never able to see them live before the band (and Duff's pancreas) exploded. Although I did get to see Duff and Slash in Velvet Revolver before that exploded, but it just wasn't the same without W. Axl Rose.
Back in May, my client randomly offered to buy me and the rest of my team tickets to the Helsinki Live Festival, where Axl and the nouveau Guns N' Roses would be headlining. While I felt it also wouldn't be the same without Slash and Duff...at least seeing pieces of the original lineup strewn across different years and bands was better than nothing.
So, we went! I had no idea what to expect. Would Axl play any of the Appetite for Destruction / Use Your Illusion songs, or would he be a jerk and insist on only playing Chinese Democracy? Would he be super fat and have those weird cornrows again? Would he punch anyone out? Would he swim with dolphins while wearing a flannel shirt and high tops? Would he keep us waiting for 3 hours until he felt "ready" to go onstage?
Yes, he played the old stuff AND Chinese Democracy.
No, he wasn't super fat. He certainly wasn't super wirey with a washboard stomach, but he didn't look that bloaty, either. He did wear a holographic blazer with bootcut/flare jeans. He did have a handlebar moustache. He did wear the red bandana on his head. He did have a few wardrobe changes, but never into white cycling shorts or kilts. No, no cornrows.
No, he didn't try to assault anyone. He was incredibly well behaved and charming.
No, there was no dolphin tank on stage. I honestly don't even remember if they played Estranged at all. All I remember is the weird and random 10 minute Pink Panther Theme Song guitar solo. (?)
No, he did not keep us waiting at all. It was almost a disappointment that he was actually on time! I don't think any of us were expecting that. In fact, there were a bunch of sluts going around selling specially branded condoms for the event, and the condom manufacturers were banking on his tardiness:
This note on the condom package translates roughly to "Just in case Axl is late coming to the stage and you need something to do."
I am a card-carrying Guns N' Roses fan. Literally:
But sadly for me, I was just a teenager in G'n'R's heyday, so I was never able to see them live before the band (and Duff's pancreas) exploded. Although I did get to see Duff and Slash in Velvet Revolver before that exploded, but it just wasn't the same without W. Axl Rose.
Back in May, my client randomly offered to buy me and the rest of my team tickets to the Helsinki Live Festival, where Axl and the nouveau Guns N' Roses would be headlining. While I felt it also wouldn't be the same without Slash and Duff...at least seeing pieces of the original lineup strewn across different years and bands was better than nothing.
So, we went! I had no idea what to expect. Would Axl play any of the Appetite for Destruction / Use Your Illusion songs, or would he be a jerk and insist on only playing Chinese Democracy? Would he be super fat and have those weird cornrows again? Would he punch anyone out? Would he swim with dolphins while wearing a flannel shirt and high tops? Would he keep us waiting for 3 hours until he felt "ready" to go onstage?
Yes, he played the old stuff AND Chinese Democracy.
No, he wasn't super fat. He certainly wasn't super wirey with a washboard stomach, but he didn't look that bloaty, either. He did wear a holographic blazer with bootcut/flare jeans. He did have a handlebar moustache. He did wear the red bandana on his head. He did have a few wardrobe changes, but never into white cycling shorts or kilts. No, no cornrows.
No, he didn't try to assault anyone. He was incredibly well behaved and charming.
No, there was no dolphin tank on stage. I honestly don't even remember if they played Estranged at all. All I remember is the weird and random 10 minute Pink Panther Theme Song guitar solo. (?)
No, he did not keep us waiting at all. It was almost a disappointment that he was actually on time! I don't think any of us were expecting that. In fact, there were a bunch of sluts going around selling specially branded condoms for the event, and the condom manufacturers were banking on his tardiness:
This note on the condom package translates roughly to "Just in case Axl is late coming to the stage and you need something to do."
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