book reviews: November 2008 Archives

This entry is dedicated to Staci and Shashana...may the wisdom of Michael Maron help transform you into your best and most glamourous 80s self next Saturday night at the Ewing Barbeque!

In mentally preparing for my makeup, hair, and wardrobe next week for the Oil Baron's Ball / Ewing Barbeque / Dallas 30th Anniversary and Cast Reunion, I kept finding myself longing for a book my mom used to have that contained makeovers of lots of 80s celebrities.  The main reason I remember the book is the pages and pages of before/after celebrity makeover photos.  The most memorable was the one of Phyllis Diller.  Mainly because her "before" shot terrified me:


Anyway, Mom mailed the book to me last week, and now I will attempt to summarize its most essential contents.  Originally I was just going to put this in an email to Staci and Shashana, but I thought the rest of you might benefit from 1983 celebrity makeover advice.  Here are the 10 easy steps!

STEP 1: Blemish Cover

"With your middle finger¹, gently dot a small amount of neutralizer cream on the areas you wish to conceal." "Most cosmetic companies offer an off-white cover-up cream or stick that only causes red spots to turn a lighter pink.  I recommend yellowish cream neutralizer, which covers the red."

STEP 2: Concealer

"With your middle finger², apply a few dots of concealer to the dark areas of your face.  Use a flesh-tint eye shadow crayon to lighten any expression lines you want to diminish." "If you need it, apply the concealer to the bluish gray area directly under the eyes, around the outside of the nostrils, below the corners of the mouth, and on the crease of the chin." "Apply to dark areas only, and blend carefully with your middle finger³."

"Using a latex sponge and liquid foundation, dot your forehead, cheeks, nose, and chin with foundation.  Again using your sponge, smooth the dots of makeup out towards your hairline, and down towards your neck, covering your entire face ever so lightly with foundation." "Don't forget to apply foundation to your eyelids, nostrils, and lips.  The coverage should end just below the jawline."

STEP 4: Highlighter

"With your fingertips, apply three dots of highlighter cream above each cheekbone.  To blend, pat -- don't rub -- with your middle finger⁴, extending the highlighter toward the temple." "Since highlighter reflects light, it will make your cheekbones appear more prominent." "For dramatic evenings, you might like the effect of an iridescent powder or gel used on your cheekbones, on the brow bone, or just above your brows."

STEP 5: Contour Shadow

"Suck in your cheeks and apply a thin band of contour shadow cream in the hollow under your cheekbones and place a small dot on each temple. With your middle finger⁵, blend the contour shadow cream diagonally outward toward the ears. Keep blending until you see a subtle shadow." "Always remember that any light area appears to come forward, while dark areas seem to recede." "A contour shadow should be a very neutral color, a cross between brown and gray, with no red or yellow undertones." "It should be about two shades darker than your foundation, any darker and you'll look as if you have a dirty face rather than one that's nicely contoured." "Be careful not to blend the shadow up into the highlight cream."

STEP 6: Face Powder

"Using just the tips of the sable bristles of your wide brush, dust translucent face powder all over your face.  Stroke across your forehead, around the eyes, nose, mouth, and chin.  Don't forget the eye sockets and neck." "Use a minimal amount of powder, as too much can accentuate lines."

STEP 7: Blusher

"Smile.  Find the fullest part -- or the "apple" -- of your cheek.  With your large sable brush, apply powder blusher on the "apple", just between the highlighter and above the contour shadow.  Avoid blending blusher directly under the eye." "With the brush, blend upward and outward towards the ears, but do not blend higher than the top of the ear or lower than the ear lobes.  Blend until color fades into the hairline.  Use a cotton ball to continue blending the blusher until you have achieved a delicate, natural-looking glow.  Blusher should always be used subtly." "When wearing a low neckline, you might like a bit of blusher on the sides of the neck and in the cleavage."

STEP 8: Eye Makeup

	"Using a small sable brush and pressed powder eye shadow, draw a thick line of shadow across the crease of your eyelid, starting at the inside corner and extending to the outer corner, and form small triangle of shadow that points toward your temple." "Blend with your brush.  Then, with a sharpened eye liner pencil, first line your lower lids, starting at the outside corner, along and just below the lash line, stopping the line in the center of your lower lid." "Smudge the line with your little finger or with a cotton swab.  With the same pencil, line the entire upper lid, beginning at the inner corner of the eye and working toward the outer corner.  Darken the triangle at the outer corner of the eye with additional eye liner pencil, then smudge."
	"With a black eye liner pencil, line the upper inner lid." "If your eyes are very small, you can make them appear larger by lining the lower inner lids with a white pencil." "Using a small sable brush, apply color to the center of the lid."
	"Using a sable brush, apply a small amount of shadow to the brow bone.  Blend downward toward the crease shadow." "Curl the eyelashes.  Apply two coats of brown or black mascara to both upper and lower lashes."

STEP 9: Eyebrows

"Brush brows upward with an eyebrow brush or with a child's toothbrush.  Apply eyebrow pencil with short strokes in the same direction in which the hair grows.  Blend with a finger or cotton swab."

STEP 10: Lip Color

"Before applying lip liner, define the crest of the upper lip with a light beige lip liner pencil." "Before applying color, make sure your mouth is covered with foundation and powder." "The shade of lip liner you buy should be as close to your natural lip color as possible.  Draw the line right on your own lip line." "Fill in your outlined lips with the lip color, extending just to the outline but not over it."

So I think important things to remember here to make you look as glam and as 80s as possible are:

1. contour shadow
2. thick eyeliner on the lower lid that begins in the center and goes out to the edge
3. dark eye shadow on the outside/light eyeshadow on the inside
4. thick/dark eyebrows
   and most importantly...
5. APPLY EVERYTHING WITH YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!