concert reviews: December 2009 Archives
Wow. I just witnessed something surreal and amazing and crazy. I
almost feel like I don't deserve to have seen and experienced what I
just saw...it's like it was a secret Finnish ritual that I snuck in and
watched without the proper credentials. I am talking about Raskasta
Joulua, aka Heavy Christmas. This is an annual Christmas concert where
local heavy metal dudes play traditional Finnish Christmas songs in the
key of METAL.
Throughout 98.7% of this concert, I just stood there with my mouth open in amazement. All the songs and onstage banter were in Finnish, so I was obviously a little lost. But music is music, and heavy metal wailing is heavy metal wailing...so it was still very easy to appreciate the magic that was going on. Remember when Corn Mo and John Freeman used to do their cover of Temple of the Dog's "Hunger Strike"? And how awesome that was? Well take that, multiply it by seven metric tons and add a splash of Ronnie James Dio in a nativity scene as the Baby Jesus, that's how awesome Raskasta Joulua was. The bass player guy looked like a cross between Nuno Bettancourt and Toki Wartooth. One of the 5 leader singers looked like Nikki Six. Another looked like the 1988 Mark Slaughter. Another looked like Kevin Nash. Another looked like Glenn Danzig's younger, taller brother. Another looked like Baby Varg (he was actually the Finnish American Idol). Another looked like a drunk billy goat.
Thankfully, most of the Finnish songs have the exact same melody as the American ones, so I wasn't completely lost. So even if I couldn't sing along, I could hum along. Oh! But there was one song where I could sort of sing along! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Here is my version of the Finnish version:
"Taka-taka-taka-taka PORO,
taka taka taka taka tak!"
"Poro" is reindeer, which I learned from all the menus here because reindeers aren't cute Santa pets, they are FOOD. Anyway, here is the real version:
At the end they threw Christmas tree ornaments at us, and then threw a Christmas tree at us. Merry Christmas, in your FACE!
Throughout 98.7% of this concert, I just stood there with my mouth open in amazement. All the songs and onstage banter were in Finnish, so I was obviously a little lost. But music is music, and heavy metal wailing is heavy metal wailing...so it was still very easy to appreciate the magic that was going on. Remember when Corn Mo and John Freeman used to do their cover of Temple of the Dog's "Hunger Strike"? And how awesome that was? Well take that, multiply it by seven metric tons and add a splash of Ronnie James Dio in a nativity scene as the Baby Jesus, that's how awesome Raskasta Joulua was. The bass player guy looked like a cross between Nuno Bettancourt and Toki Wartooth. One of the 5 leader singers looked like Nikki Six. Another looked like the 1988 Mark Slaughter. Another looked like Kevin Nash. Another looked like Glenn Danzig's younger, taller brother. Another looked like Baby Varg (he was actually the Finnish American Idol). Another looked like a drunk billy goat.
Thankfully, most of the Finnish songs have the exact same melody as the American ones, so I wasn't completely lost. So even if I couldn't sing along, I could hum along. Oh! But there was one song where I could sort of sing along! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Here is my version of the Finnish version:
"Taka-taka-taka-taka PORO,
taka taka taka taka tak!"
"Poro" is reindeer, which I learned from all the menus here because reindeers aren't cute Santa pets, they are FOOD. Anyway, here is the real version:
At the end they threw Christmas tree ornaments at us, and then threw a Christmas tree at us. Merry Christmas, in your FACE!
