concert reviews: May 2010 Archives

I have just returned from the bar where I met up with a group of friends to watch the first round of semifinals of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest.  I had originally planned to live blog this from home.  So instead, I took notes on my phone, and now I will simply paste said notes from my phone, uncensored, into here.

Before the paste job, I should explain that there were 17 entries, but only 10 advance to the finals.  Here were the 17 entries and my impressions of them.  When I have more time later, I will go back and add screencaps of each performer to give the full effect:

1 moldova "run away" - violinix espinning  neon violin bow pelvic thrusting sax playing ... All in vests

2 russia "lost & forgotten" - sensitive nickleBack yellow drums clutching neck, faux snow, singing to illustration

3 estonia "siren" - velvet jacket....no FOUR velvet jackets crooner spinning camera "turning their hips in motion almost in sync"

4 slovakia "horehronie" - 1st native language entry; nymphs dressed as trees doing karate, tulle monster

5 finland "työlki ellää" - accordian smoke "one half of abba on holiday" dirty dancing lift

6 latvia "what for?" - breathy toga party bronzer legs wind machine

7 serbia "ovo je balkan" - kajagoogoo hair veneer androgony handstand glitter tshirt

8 bosnia herzegovina "thunder and lightning" - smoke machine matchbox 20 zombies double wallet chain

9 poland "legenda" - native costumes wailing holding apple ... Nay, ALL holding and waving apples AND spinning  "george michael with gypsies" ... HEADLOCK!?

...interlude....male host is knitting....

10 belgium "me and my guitar" - john mayer unibrow

11 malta "my dream" - liza minelli with armpit hair, with animatronic wings!!!  It's a secret person hiding behind her the whole song to operate the wings!?

12 albania "it's all about you" - cross of bonnie tyler and steven tyler with pointy shoulderpads, howie mandell violin solo

13 greece "opa!" - underlit tattoo boys in white "singer is flexible as a refrigerator" OPA!

14 portugal "has dias assim" - prom solo

15 macedonia "jas ja imam silata" - same singer from greece dressed in black with lunging leather swimsuit models

16 belarus "butterflies" - zac efron of belarus with sparkle backup; synchronized hand moves ...  More sprouting wings!!!

17 iceland "je ne se quois" - big red dress, two little red dress;

The 10 magical winners were:

Bosnia & Herzegovina
Moldova
Russia
Greece
Portugal
Belarus
Serbia
Belgium
Albania
Iceland

And all I have to say is that Malta must be SO PISSED that Belarus made it into the finals and they didn't, when they did the whole animatronic wing thing first.

P.S.  I voted for Greece.