Recently in food reviews Category

My mom used to be in club that had progressive dinners.  This didn't mean that the food options were extremely forward-thinking, it meant that it was a multi-course meal spread across multiple locations.  They would have appetizers at Neysa's, entrees at Maggie's, dessert at Janice's, and coffee at Ruby's.  Last week when I was in Austin, I accidentally had a progressive dinner.  A white trash progressive dinner.

Entrees were at Torchy's Tacos, a trailer selling tacos:



Then dessert at Hey Cupcake, a trailer selling cupcakes:

Something everyone should think about is...if you are going to be executed, what would you choose as your last meal?  I would choose macaroni and cheese as my entree, and S'mores Pop Tarts as my dessert.  Macaroni and cheese has been my favorite food since I was old enough to chew.  And many people have told me that Portland has the greatest macaroni and cheeses in the whole world, particularly the versions from these three restaurants:

1. Gravy
2. Montage
3. Savoy
   

I was anxious to investigate these claims during my trip to Portland, and was dedicated to eating as much macaroni and cheese as possible.  Unfortunately, after eating nothing but macaroni and cheese on Friday...I totally overloaded and was not able to eat it again the rest of the weekend.  So I can only present my reviews for #1 and #2:

Gravy

• Portion Size: a very very deep, very hot bowl that I would approximate contained over 2 cups worth of noodles.  (I could only put a dent about 20% of the way in before I began to feel the onset of a coma.)
  
• Pasta: big textured, curved macaroni noodles, as you can see in the picture one noodle was about the size of my thumb.
  
• Cheese: some sort of hybrid...the orangey color and mild sharpness suggests there was cheddar involved, but the texture was too creamy to be only cheddar.  But not too creamy to be runny.
  
• Topping: slightly sweetened breadcrumbs held together with melted cheddar to create a protective covering that was very effective at holding in the heat of the dish.
• Optional Side: the most deliciously savory tomato soup that has ever passed mine lips; it was so, so creamy and chickeny and had the perfect ultra-pureed consistency, no nasty tomato chunks to navigate around, or weird onions to dodge.  I could have eaten it with a straw.
  
• Price: $7.75

Montage

• Portion Size: a bowl that I would approximate contained roughly 1 cup of noodles.  I was able to polish off the entire dish.
  
• Pasta: medium-sized curved textured macaroni noodles, closer to the size of my pinky or ring finger.
  
• Cheese: a smooth white, creamy cheese...perhaps maybe a hint of alfredo sauce thrown in?
• Topping: a mound of shredded parmesan or romano cheese, sprinkled with a bit of paprika for color.  The saltiness of the parmesan/romano nicely offset the dairiness of the cheese.
  
• Optional Side: n/a
• Price: $6.50

I told my boss that I would come up with some weighted formula to mathematically calculate the winning macaroni and cheese variant, but sometimes math can't explain everything.  I can state it best like this:

The macaroni and cheese at Montage was so good it made me happy to be alive...but the macaroni and cheese at Gravy was so good it made me wish I was dead.

WINNER: Gravy. 

I got an email from a friend this morning who up until yesterday, thought Vegemite was a fictional substance.  When she found out it was real, she called upon me and my experiences in Australia to learn more.  Here is my response to her:

"Yes, I have suffered through the insufferable Vegemite.  (Although I never had an entire sandwich.  Just one little dob on the end of a spoon was enough to make me gag.)  It's a super-Aussie thing to eat, apparently it is made from the yeasty byproduct of all the beer they brew.  It's like grape jelly to them, and they put it on toast, sandwiches....they even have those little individual snack packages like we have with cheese where there are 4 crackers, a compartment for the cheese (or in this case, Vegemite), and that little red stick to wipe it on the cracker.

I was forced to eat it by my Aussie friends, despite my violent protests.  They are very loyal to their Vegemite, and they insisted that I might as well not have ever lived in Australia if I didn't eat it. 

It was DISGUSTING.  It tastes like rancid fur.  Seriously.  Imagine pouring a Guinness and then skimming the foam off the top, putting that foam in a petri dish, letting it dry into a paste and rot and grow mold, then mixing it with about 50% salt.  That is what Vegemite tastes like."

If you're daring and you want to eat furry rancid beer paste....Vegemite can be found in the States at places like World Market.  Best of luck with that.  I'll be over here.