Recently in found objects Category

A few weeks ago, I went to Sweden to visit friends and completely neglected to write about it.  I look the Viking Line cruise over to Stockholm (which was amazing to crush through the frozen sea and navigate all the thousands of little archipelagos), and took the train to Gothenburg.  It was sort of a low-key weekend, and we mostly just hang out at their apartment.  This was my third time to visit Gothenburg, so I didn't really need to see all the sights again, and I was happy to just have a quiet/giggly weekend with old friends.

Jeanette kept asking if there was anything special I wanted to do.  And really my only objective was to see them, but I did think up one little request.  You see, I am a huge fan of Björn Borg, the 70s tennis god.  Björn Borg is Swedish.  And Björn Borg is also a brand...they make shoes and bags and athletic gear and panties with his name all over them.  And although they have Björn Borg stores here in Helsinki, it meant far more to me to buy some Björn Borg goods in the man's home country.  So that was my only request: to visit a Björn Borg store to buy a new bag, or possibly....a headband!



So on my last day in town, we headed to a shopping area and went to an official Björn Borg store.  Here are the events as they occurred:

1. I immediately noticed there were no bags at this particular store, and tried to hide my disappointment.
   
   
2. I went to plan B to look for a headband, but there were none.  Disappointment was steadily rising.
   
   
3. Feeling pressed for time and like I was being annoying, I just decided to buy a pair of Björn Borg panties and call it good.  I found a pair of red boyshorts, and went to the cashier.
   
   
4. As the girl was ringing me up, Jeanette noticed a clearance table with a bunch of polo shirts...with bonus headbands attached to them!!  She asked the cashier for me if I could just buy the headband and not the polo, and the girl said no.  They were a package deal only.
   
   
5. Right after the cashier girl denied my request to purchase the headband separately, she grabbed some scissors, went over to the table and cut the headband off the shirt, and gave it to me with a little wink....for FREE!  Disappointment reversal!
   
   
6. After profusely thanking her, on the way out of the store we had to pass through the men's section, which I had completely ignored.  Near the front was a table of tshirts made to look like retro iron-on tshirts that said "I LOVE BJORN BORG."  I flipped out, grabbed one, and went back to the cashier.
   
   
7. Converted total disappointment into total elation!

For your review...

A buddy of mine has worked for several hotels over the years, and when he learned how much I like tennis, he told me an awesome story about the time Venus Williams stayed at one of the hotels he worked at.

He ended up parking the Williams car one day, and there was something poking him in the back that had gotten stuck in the seat.  He dug around in the seat for it and found himself holding a guest pass ID card to the tournament grounds.  A VIP guest pass for a special member of the Williams family.

A photo ID card for Venus's fucking dog:



Awesome.

Ivan Ljubicic	vs.	Anthony Edwards

Mikhail Youzhny	vs.	Joaquin Phoenix

Marat Safin	vs.	James Franco

Nikolay Davydenko	vs.	Matthew McConaughey

David Ferrer	vs.	Roger Howarth, aka Todd Manning from "One Life to Live" c. 1992

Bjorn Borg	vs.	Ed Begley, Jr.

David Ferrer, I'm sorry you look like the guy who instigated the Spring Break gang rape of Marty Saybrooke, and that that's what I think about every time I look at you.

I'm not sure this even needs explanation.  The background of the screencap is the craigslist URL listed in the foreground/IM window of the screencap.



Christina moved to the U.S. when she was 16, so every now and then there is something that throws her for a loop.  And I can see how "banana seat" is confusing out of context.  But I love that she believed for a few minutes that there really was a piece of tiny furniture dedicated to fruit.

Oh, and the best part of this?  When she sent me this IM, she was eating a banana.

I'm sorry in advance for this entry. 

But as I was unpacking more stuff last night, I went into serious reminiscing mode.  So when I was in high school I got Rolling Stone magazine for several years, and was too much of a pack rat (and obsessive metal fan) to get rid of any of them.  Before I moved away to college, I went through every damn magazine and clipped out anything of worth and saved it.  (This mostly included anything involving Guns N' Roses, Chris Cornell, surfing, or Conan O'Brien.)  I'll be posting some of the other ridiculous stuff I re-found, but for tonight, I'm going to show you the most awesome thing in my high school heavy metal scrapbook.

The "Can you match each of the Young Ones with their vomit?" match game quiz:




Answers will be posted....never.  If you don't know the answers, go rent both seasons of the Young Ones right away and stay up all night and watch them ALL.  Or do like I've always wanted to do: lock yourself in your house for about 6 months and watch only this show and see if you walk out of your house 6 months later with a British accent or not.

In unpacking, I came across a couple of surprises I left for myself when I left Dallas.  Two sticky-notes.  Sticky-note quotes, the best kind of sticky-notes.

So at my going away party about a month ago, I set up all these little storefronts for all the various crap I was trying to get rid of.  In the Bed Bath and Beyond section, one of the items I was trying to give away was a classic wooden rolling pin I got from my mom, and it had a ribbed cotton protective sleevie thingie.  George saw it, and asked:

The second note is slightly more mysterious, because I only caught the tail end of whatever Micah was talking about.  Your guess is as good as mine...