news: December 2007 Archives

So I celebrated Christmas with Matt and Chris last night so we could do our gift swap before Matt and I left town.  That Matt...we always joke about he is a superhero and we're just waiting to figure out what his superpower is.  But seriously his superhero power is his memory, and his ability to parlay his good memory into buying good presents.  Seriously, he is the best, most thoughtful present-buyer this side of the Mississippi.  Look what I got!

#1: Golden Girls "Stay Golden" T-shirt that I've almost bought for myself 20 times, but never did:

#2: The most kickass pan in the world from my favorite online shop in the world (fredflare.com).  It's a brownie pan specially designed so ALL the brownies can be edge pieces!  I've been wanting this pan so bad, too!  And Matt being Matt, also included a supplementary follow-up gift of brownie mix and eggs, so I could go ahead and make the brownies right there on the spot!!



AND I also got a promissory note for a special field trip to go ice skating!  Would the wonderfulness ever end???

No!!!  Because then we watched the Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas special, and I saw this sweater that Joan Rivers wore:

So here's what happened.  The City of Seattle recently developed a new tram/trolley/streetcar system that connects the South Lake Union area to downtown.  So we now have a South Lake Union Trolley.  Apparently their marketing team didn't fully think through that, and hurriedly launched a campaign to brand it as the "Seattle Streetcar."  Sadly, this is a total waste of time because we're all obviously going to call it the SLUT no matter what they paint across the side of it.

The SLUT officially launched its service last Thursday, with great fanfare and mayorial blessings.  And this morning the SLUT had its first accident when an SUV ran a red light and smacked into it.  When one of the guys at work saw the article on the Seattle PI website, he issued a challenge for everyone to come up with a sluttier headline.  My co-workers seriously delivered:

• SUV "Money Shot" Leaves Young SLUT Worse For The Wear
• SLUT gets banged - only skidmarks left behind
• Slut gets banged in the AM!!!!!
• Trucker sees red light, bangs first slut he sees
• SLUT forced to take break after unexpected early morning bang
• Following a morning incident, SLUT operates without protection
• SLUT Rammed After Ball Bearing Mishap
• SLUT is FUCKED!
• Morning quickie leaves local slut bruised and battered
• The new SLUT goes down for 30 full minutes as commuters look on
• Barely Legal SLUT gets knocked up