nostalgia: April 2010 Archives
Barbie was big in my house. We had dozens, and each had her own name that was NOT "Barbie" and had a distinct personality from the others. There was Jan and Tracy and P.J. (both her ankles were broken and she had perma-masking tape casts) and Andrea and Cara and Marie Osmond and Wendi Poobah and Kim (she was the one that would wink, but her wink eye got stuck and turned into a wonk eye) and Suni and Stephanie Baggie.
The Barbie to Ken ratio was not favorable for Barbie. We only had 4 Ken dolls:
My little nieces will sometimes still play with our old Barbies, and they've started to collect their own. One of my nieces has a birthday next week, and my sister mentioned that they needed a Ken doll. I totally wanted to get her one, but a surprise awaited me in the toy section of Amazon.com...
Every Ken doll is now totally, completely, flamingly gay.
Jewel Secrets Ken
Ken in a tux is not so gay. Barbie does need a prom date or a groom for her wedding. But Ken in a silver tux? Ken who has jewel secrets?
Diamond Castle Prince Ken
Jackie and I were IMing like crazy over all this, and I think she summarized this one the best by saying:"Why does this prince have a guitar?" And apparently Diamond Castle Prince Ken comes in two flavors: vanilla (Ian) and chocolate (Jeremy).
Rainbow Prince Ken
Thigh-high boots and a pastel rainbow glitter tunic with puffy sleeves? Is this even real??
Mariposa Prince Ken
Jackie's reaction to this one: "....he's a fairy. He's an f'in FAIRY." Also, "mariposa" means "butterfly" in Spanish, but it's also Mexican slang for "queer". Great job, Mattel.
Sun Sensation Ken
Gold. Mesh. Half-shirt. I have nothing else to add.
Hot Skatin' Ken
I snarfed all over my computer when I saw this one. As if the ice skates weren't enough... As if the rollerblades were not enough... As if his neon spandex unitard was not enough... WHY DID YOU POSE HIM LIKE THAT??
I went so far as to create a poll for this one, so please vote below...
The Barbie to Ken ratio was not favorable for Barbie. We only had 4 Ken dolls:
- Malibu Ken who was blond and tan and we called "Ken"
- Generic Ken who had dark hair and we usually drew in a mustache with eyeliner and we called "Steve"
- Generic Ken who had light brown hair and whose name changed depending on what Barbie he was with that week
- Weight-Lifting Ken whose muscles would actually pop up when you bent his arm to flex his bicep, and I don't remember what we called him...honestly he was kinda ugly and we usually popped his head off and replaced it with Steve's
- Headless Horseman Ken which was Steve's leftover body
My little nieces will sometimes still play with our old Barbies, and they've started to collect their own. One of my nieces has a birthday next week, and my sister mentioned that they needed a Ken doll. I totally wanted to get her one, but a surprise awaited me in the toy section of Amazon.com...
Every Ken doll is now totally, completely, flamingly gay.
Jewel Secrets Ken
Ken in a tux is not so gay. Barbie does need a prom date or a groom for her wedding. But Ken in a silver tux? Ken who has jewel secrets?
Diamond Castle Prince Ken
Jackie and I were IMing like crazy over all this, and I think she summarized this one the best by saying:"Why does this prince have a guitar?" And apparently Diamond Castle Prince Ken comes in two flavors: vanilla (Ian) and chocolate (Jeremy).
Rainbow Prince Ken
Thigh-high boots and a pastel rainbow glitter tunic with puffy sleeves? Is this even real??
Mariposa Prince Ken
Jackie's reaction to this one: "....he's a fairy. He's an f'in FAIRY." Also, "mariposa" means "butterfly" in Spanish, but it's also Mexican slang for "queer". Great job, Mattel.
Sun Sensation Ken
Gold. Mesh. Half-shirt. I have nothing else to add.
Hot Skatin' Ken
I snarfed all over my computer when I saw this one. As if the ice skates weren't enough... As if the rollerblades were not enough... As if his neon spandex unitard was not enough... WHY DID YOU POSE HIM LIKE THAT??
I went so far as to create a poll for this one, so please vote below...
