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On Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 12:10 PM, Halee wrote:

Kris!  I'm sorry my email messages to you are always frantic and loaded with exclamation marks!!!  I am easily excitable!

I just found out that the stage version of 9 to 5 will be previewing in September in LA.  And there are shows when I am there!  Would you be interested in such a dumb thing?

I'm kinda skeptical this will logistically work out, though.  My flight arrives 6:20 on Thursday evening.  The show starts at 8.  We can't go Friday, because that's my only chance for Point Break Live.  The Saturday matinée isn't until 2, and my flight out is at 5.  If we (or just I) go, it would have to be Thursday.  So my question to you: is it even within the realm of possibility that I could make it from LAX to the theatre in time?

halee ann

On Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 12:38 PM, Kris wrote:

Dear Crazy Person,

I would definitely be interested in such a thing. I actually think it could work, in the world where you are Magnum PI and I am MacGyver. Here's how I would do it if I were you. Don't pack luggage and have cash in your pocket. Be sure to have a 5 and 4 1's. Run from the plane to outside the baggage claim and catch the next possible "fly away shuttle" to Union Station. They come every 30 minutes, so hopefully you will catch the 6:30 one.  I would estimate this could take 60 minutes at most? I will be waiting for you at Union Station, at which point we will hop on the Red Line from Union Station one stop to Civic Center Station. This will take maximum of 10 minutes (including wait times for the train).  We will walk 0.3 mile to the theater. (7 minutes).

Arrival if all goes as planned: 7:47

Also, there is the option of taking the subway directly from the airport to the airport. I've never done that but I could investigate that further. It may be a lot faster because there is no traffic to deal with (which the bus will be subject to). My dad gets in today so I can see what his times are for comparison.

Synchronizing watches,

MacGyver

On Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 12:56 PM, Kris wrote:

Magnum,

Addendum:

I just looked online and it says 45 minutes or less for the shuttle. So, let's say you miss the 6:30 Fly Away and catch the 7:00 pm one. Your arrival at Union station is 7:45 and we take the RED or PURPLE train to Civic Center Station (arrival at 7:55) and then RUN to Ahmanson Theatre (3 minutes). Arrive at 7:58. Wear running shoes. Start training now for a .3 mile run. Get your time down to 3 minutes. Don't pack any clothes at all.

I love a challenge. Let's do this!!!!

MacGyver

On Wed, Aug 6, 2008 at 1:01 PM, Halee wrote:

Haha!!!  This is so very awesome that we HAVE to do it.  I will procure show tickets, baseball cap, and Hawaiian shirt immediately. 

halee p.i.

This is a bit of a rip-off entry for those of you who knew me in my diaryland days, because I've already posted this topic.  Which is that Jock Ewing from Dallas looks remarkably like one of the urRu mystics from The Dark Crystal:



But suddenly, this is super-relevant because I just learned about a new website called TotallyLooksLike.com!  Where a whole community of people sit around and dream up (and document) stupid shit like this!  I just submitted this matchup for approval, so watch their site to see if my observation is worthy...

And now I have to go find some full-body images of Venus Williams and a sleestak.  Bye.


.......


Update!  Forget about Venus, I have a much better tennis-to-creature comparison:  Rafael Nadal and Trogdor!  Rafa, your arm is ridiculously huger than the other one!

Should playlists be mainly around a lyrical, musical, or rhythmic theme?  I hope not.  Because most of my playlists are based around stupid concepts that have very little to do with the actual music.  Sometime I will outline some of these for you (so you can also have dumb playlists and so you can give me more ideas for mine).  But I have to skip that for now to get to the point.

I was mucking around in my iTunes today and it just so happened that two songs with the same name appeared next to each other.  This inspired my latest and possibly most worthless playlist ever which I have called "Same Songs."  I just spent about 30 minutes scrolling through my entire library sorted by song name to find ones with the same name.  As I was scanning that long list, Kenny Rogers' duet with Kim Carnes "Don't Fall in Love with a Dreamer" appeared right above Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" and then about 4 seconds later I found myself absentmindedly singing the melody to the Kenny Rogers' song with the lyrics "Don't fall in love with the reaper..."

This gives me all sorts of ideas for what Valentines I'll send out next month!  Because Lord knows I can't reuse this one of Chris Benoit!

My friend Jenni is coming to visit me in Seattle for New Year's, and I am most excited about this.  We've been plotting and planning for a couple of weeks, and we officially decided a few days ago that we will be defecting to Canada for a couple of days.  We've been trying to line up the details, one of which is the increased security at the border, and how you can no longer just say "Um, yeah I'm...American?  Sure." at the border crossing and be let through.

Which sucks, because Jenni's passport is expired.  So she has been on spazz patrol, scrambling to get a renewal expedited.  Apparently she had an appointment at the passport office this morning, so I got a frantic message from her when I arrived at work that we needed to dig up some sort of supporting documentation, stat.  Options:

1. Hotel reservation - The problem: The hotel we are staying at is a very small operation, and they don't have automated email confirmations.  I begged the lady on the phone to send me something, anything.  This request (and presumably the concept of email) was quite confusing to her and I suspected the email confirmation would consist of something like a message saying "yeah, you have room 131 on 1/4" from her personal AOL account.  This email never arrived.
   
   
2. Train booking - The problem: When making a booking on Amtrak's website, if you're crossing the border you have to enter the passport ID numbers of all the travellers as part of the checkout process.  I don't have my passport with me today, and obviously Jenni doesn't have one, period.  So we can't get a train reservation without a passport, and Jenni can't get a passport without a train reservation.  Fuck.
   

Jenni had to leave for her appointment as I was still on the phone trying to figure all this out, so she wasn't able to print anything to take with her to the passport office.  I managed to talk to a human at Amtrak, and she was great and got me set up with a reservation under the stipulation that I call back with passport information in a couple of days.  This Amtrak angel also sent an email confirmation, which I promptly and frantically forwarded to Jenni hoping like hell they might let her check her email from their computer really quickly at the passport office, just long enough to print the proof they needed.

So it was a very hectic morning.  All this buzzing around and stressing out....then silence.  Finally Jenni calls me excitedly explaining that she got everything taken care of, and she would get her passport next week!  Yay!  I just assumed she was able to print that Amtrak confirmation.  No.  The only documentation Jenni was able to print before she left for the office was a stupid itinerary I crudely put together in Google Spreadsheets.  Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the "official documentation" that the passport office ACCEPTED AND PUT IN JENNI'S OFFICIAL FILE:

I have no idea whether to be totally impressed or totally disappointed in the passport office.

A My Little Ponies stage show???  I can't decide how I feel about this:

1. Full of child-like wonder?
2. Amazed someone smoked enough crack to come up with costumes and choreography for something this retarded?
3. Creeped the fuck out?

Because I wanna be like Matt...

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Ginger Golf

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Dulce de Leche Snickerdoodle

3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Miniature Pony

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Ann Amarillo

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first)
Kotha

6. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Yellow Water (ack!!)

7. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Sam Wallace

8. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Vanilla Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

9.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle name)
Murrel Wayne

10. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher's last name)
Halee Sanders

11. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Spring Daisy

12. YOUR PUNK ROCK NAME ( favorite body part, bodily fluid)
Shoulder Drool

13. HIPPY NAME: (What you had for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Carnation Instant Breakfast Redwood

14. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + "Tour)
The Hula-Hooping Tornado Tour

In Spanish, the word for retirement is "jubilación". 

I have been saying this for years, but I cannot WAIT to get old and retire to a nice active seniors community, and wear outrageously loud clothing and start carrying weird things as oversized handbags.  I don't know what came over my sister this week, but out of the blue she sent me an email with a plan for our collective retirements where she and I would share a unit at such a retirement community, and participate in the following activities:

• Knitting or crocheting
• Dominoes
• yoga / stretching
• swimming
• weight lifting
• backgammon
• Canasta
• Shuffleboard
• Field trips to casinos or horse races
• Getting hair/nails done
• Watching reruns of Dallas
• Watching reruns of The Golden Girls
• come up with a new hopscotch game that you can play with a cane
• bridge
• all the Wii games

We've found a place down in south Texas, which we'll live in during the winter. I'll be spending the next 30 years figuring out how to find a similar place in Sweden, where we'll live in the summertime.  I went ahead and added all this to my Google countdown clock:

In my previous entry about Halloween costume options, there was a picture of Jack of Jack in the Box.  I spent forever hunting for a screencap of him with his wife Cricket and their son Jack Jr. to better illustrate the point of that slide, but to no avail.

However, I stumbled across something even more awesome. Jack's myspace page at www.myspace.com/jackbox.  Complete with the requisite emo self portrait in front of a mirror:

So I just bought my ticket to go see Devo at the fair tomorrow (yippee!), and when Ticketmaster took me to the anti-ticket-buying bot screen to type in the wonky word image for verification, this is the word it gave me:




I take offense to this. Because if anyone is a lying, cheating slutbag around here, it's definitely Ticketmaster with their charging you 50% of the ticket price for "processing" and "service charges" and "giving each other handjobs."